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More importantly, What/If – created and written by Revenge‘s Mike Kelley – is a show that allows you to simultaneously scroll through your phone at the same time, which we all know is how we watch TV now. The fast-pacing of the show means secrets are outed almost instantly, meaning there’s unlikely to be a seven-series deep “Who is H” type plot, or Lost-esque spinning out into a more ludicrous reason behind the show. There’s need to intellectualise it! Just tell us how it is: it’s a cheap, fun thriller that doesn’t really require any critical thinking. I mean, couldn’t we all use a little bit more of a sense of entitlement like Anne Montgomery has? We feel entitled to the things that we want and so we do what we need to do, unapologetically, to achieve those things… why not?” Zellweger recently told ithat her character is empowering women to be their boldest, baddest selves: “I love how outrageous she is. Zellweger: “Rules about being ladylike are dying, thank God” What/If shouldn’t work as a series, but it all comes together to be a thrilling ride – and I am hooked. The characters talk in tired cliches: “Truth is a great equaliser”,”The past always gives up its secrets one way or another”, “I feel like I’m in a fork in the road and I don’t know what path to take.” What/If comes together in a thrilling ride The setting is the uber-wealthy tech billionaire’s San Francisco (dreamy: galas in penthouse apartments, helicopter rides to luxury villas in the vineyards of Napa), the clothes are equally outrageous, as is the script. There’s the cliched tropes and over-used analogies – a melodramatic clap of thunder and lightning when Anne’s being particularly evil (just stopping short of a “bwah ha hahaaa!”) or a much-talked about broken wedding vase, symbolising a broken marriage. Relatable? No! And that’s just the beginning of the joys of What/If.Īnne, for no explained reason, practises with crossbow and arrow in her penthouse apartment, when she’s not spending evenings staring at pie-charts (we get it, she’s an entrepreneur), or screaming into a stuffed-toy tiger. Another character is pregnant – is it by her childhood sweetheart husband, or her increasingly unhinged colleague who she’s having an affair with? One couple get out the BDSM gear and have a threesome with a guy they pick up in a bar. Someone accidentally clubbed a man to death as a teen and is now being blackmailed.
Then there’s the supporting cast and all their equally far-fetched plotlines. Jane Levy and Blake Jenner as Lisa and Sean Donovan (Photo: Netflix)
In a reference less subtle that an arrow to the head (more on that later) Anne responds: “I always thought that was a decent deal”. “This is ripped out of a bad ’90s movie!” the cartoon-character cute Lisa (Jane Levy) says to Anne. First up – there’s an indecent proposal to smug married couple Lisa and Sean, when she requests to spend the night with Sean for $80 million (ha! ha!), going to help Lisa’s ailing company, a start-up firm making medicines for sick kids.